for God so Love the world

I was in my teenage years that I find life to be a straight path. Then, I thought life was simple: study hard, do your assignments, make your friends laugh, get good grades, graduate, then get good grades again, and ultimately find a perfect job in a multinational company, buy a house, a car and raise a perfect family. It was an idealistic view when looking from below here on earth, but looking is not what it seems to be that simple.

Before, I thought I found what I believed in my heart, the girl of my dreams. Every time I get a glance of her, my heart just leaps for joy, as if I won the lottery twice. And every time I sit inside the classroom, her smile fills my mind, forgetting about studying, forgetting what outside the four-walled classroom holds. It was pure bliss.

After I graduated from college, the world becomes to darken. My dreams became smudged with work. It’s really like toiling soil in a barren land. It was my driest days, I sleep late, wake-up early, beat deadlines, accept bosses’ orders and drag myself from this dog-eat-dog world, and yet that dream still lingers in my head, somewhere, needed to be found once again.

I left my work. I ran away, away from it all. The world started to close in suffocating me, wearing me down. I had no place to go, but to hold on to my faith, for faith is all I had. I went to places I never been before. I met fascinating people along the way, people searching for something, also to revive their dying dreams. I say, it’s all about money. That is the truth living in this world, from your country, city, town, even in your home, it’s about money. People from different places strive to get food for their stomachs, never filled, never satisfied always. The love of money is the root of all evil, and this is no heaven.

I’ve suffered spiritually, physically, and mentally. I’ve lost myself. I raised my fists to the heavens and prayed to God so dearly that if there is answer, He would save me and what’s left of my dreams. My happiness faded away like that candle, “It’s getting dark; it’s getting dark.” My hope stays on, for it is what’s left of me. Whoever holds on to the end will be saved.

This year, I’ve found my dream again. I picked up the pieces of what was left before, and God made it whole again. But, that dream has also changed. It was not the same; it has floated down from heaven like God was saying that, “See, I do answer prayers.” I saw her for the last time, even sang praises in where I thought could only be watched in movies. Like that song, “I find her standing in front of the church. The only place in town where I didn’t search; she looked so happy in a wedding dress, but she’s crying while she’s saying this, ‘boy I missed the kisses all the time but this is 25 minutes too late. Though you’ve traveled so far, I am sorry you are twenty five minutes too late. I can still hear her say.’”

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.